Artemis' Trip to California
by lmp90
Summary: Artemis and Holly take a trip to Pasadena, California. Guess who they meet? AH/SP
1. Chapter 1

Sheldon was sitting at his spot, alone. The others had gone to a bar in Las Vegas. They were gone for a week they came back next Tuesday. He got up and walked across the hall.

Knock, Knock, Knock.

"Penny."

Knock, Knock, Knock.

"Penny."

Knock, Knock, Knock.

Then Penny answered. "Hello?"

"Penny."

"Yes?"

"Do you know what today is?"

Penny looked at him strangely. "Shouldn't you know? It's Thursday."

"It's Anything-Can-Happen Thursday to be precise."

"So?"

"Well… I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner tonight."

Penny smiled. "It must be hard for you to ask out… anyone."

"It would be harder for Rajesh."

Penny laughed. "He can't even talk to females."

"So? Would you like to go with me?"

Penny smiled. "Of course I would like to go. It must have been hard for you to even ask."

He smiled nervously. "Okay. What should I wear?"

"Wear anything you'd like," she suggested.

"What time are you going to pick me up?"

She smiled. Of course she would have to pick him up. He couldn't drive. "At 7:00 O'Clock."

"Where are we going?"

"What is this, twenty questions? How 'bout The Cheesecake Factory?"

He shrugged. "Sure. I'll see you then."

Fowl Manor

Artemis was sitting in his study, attempting to find a cure for all phobias. He heard a light tapping at his window. The rain was disturbing it was. Then there was a loud knock on the window. He stood up and said, "I don't want to buy whatever it is you're selling." He walked over and opened the window. In came a very soaked Holly, who was strangely cheery for a soaked elf.

"Did you actually make a joke? What's this world coming to?" she said dramatically.

"Why so cheery, Holly?" he asked. He took something out of a drawer. "Here, dry yourself off." It was what looked like a hairdryer.

She turned it on and dried herself. "I was coming to tell you that I am dead." She said seriously. "Anyways, I wanted to know if you wanted to take a vacation to California."

He laughed. She stayed the same.

"You're serious." Holly nodded.

"There's a nice little place in L.A. called Pasadena."

Artemis nodded. "Well if you want to go I can book a hotel."

She hugged him. "That would be great!" she said with obvious enthusiasm. She held up an elf-sized laptop. "This one looks nice," she said, pointing to a picture.

He studied it. "If by nice, you mean small, then yes, it is nice."

"But it's big!"

He tapped at his own laptop. After a few minutes he pointed at a picture. "That one might seem big to an elf," he said motioning to her, "but this one is big, even to a human."

She looked at it and smiled. "It's awesome." She kissed him on the cheek and he blushed which caused her to smile even more.

"We leave in an hour," he said. "Get ready." He pressed a button on his intercom. "Butler, I need you to drive me to the airport."

Butler's voice came over the intercom, "Anything I should know about?"

"Probably but nothing you NEED to know about."

Holly smiled. "That's just like you, isn't it?"

"You know me too well, Holly."

She kissed him briefly. He looked at her with wide eyes. "What are you doing!" he shouted.

"To confuse you," she said happily. For once, Artemis was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth but nothing happened, so he sat down.

Butler's voice came over the intercom. "Time to go, Artemis."

Artemis sighed. He gathered some things from his desk and packed them.

"And besides, you liked it," Holly said. Artemis blushed.

"I'm not saying I didn't." Holly smiled brightly.

"Ah! Holly! You're blinding me!" he joked. Holly laughed.

"Anyways we have to go."

"M'kay," he mumbled.


	2. Chapter 2

Happy New Years!

* * *

"Well here we are! 2311 N. Los Robles Ave. Our apartment is 5B," Artemis says. "Hmm… I supposed the elevator is broken. "

"Well stairs it is!" Holly says happily. "I hear a physicist lives on this floor." They were on the fourth floor.

"He or She probably doesn't have any awards," Artemis said, looking grumpy.

The door to 4A opened and a head poked out. "Who said that?" he asked angrily.

"He did!" Holly cried happily pointing at Artemis.

"Thank you, Holly. You are very helpful," he said sarcastically.

"I'll have you know I have a Master's Degree, two PhDs, a Stephenson Award, and a Chancellor's Award," said the man.

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Only 2 PhDs? What about a Nobel Prize?"

"And you would know how? You're only 15."

"18 and I have three PhDs and a Nobel Prize as well as a Master's Degree."

"You look no older than 15."

"I am 15 but was born 18 years ago. Figure it out."

"What? Anyways I should introduce myself. Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, PhD. And you are?"

"Master Artemis Fowl, PhD."

"Sheldon, what are you doing?" asked a voice from inside.

"Trying to make friends," he yelled. "I don't have many." Sheldon said to Artemis.

"Me neither," Artemis admitted.

"Artemis…" Holly whined.

They turned towards her.

"Yes Holly?" Artemis asked.

"Since you made a friend can we go put our things up?" she asked.

"You can come back later," Sheldon offered. "When you're done unpacking. you packed to light. You do know there's no furniture here."

"No I did not."

"I hope you have enough money to but furniture then."

Artemis and Holly looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

"What? What did I say?"

"Yo-you mon-money!" Artemis managed to choke out. When they stopped laughing he said "Of course the richest teenager in Ireland would have money." He said. "I could buy this building."

"Sarcasm?"

"Nope." Holly added helpfully.

Sheldon turned to Holly. "You are?"

"Holly Short."

"I'll say."

Artemis turned to him. "Her temper is shorter than she is."

"Why are we still in the damn hallway!" she shouted.

"See?"

"Please come in," Sheldon said.

So they did Artemis sat down at the end and Holly sat next to him, a little bit too close. Sheldon sat in his Spot. Another man walked in with a water bottle and sat down. "Howard and Raj are going to be here in a few minutes for Halo," he said. "Penny is in the bathroom." He turned to Artemis and Holly. "Who are they?"

"Artemis."

"Holly," Holly said happily.

"Holly, I told you no more coffee," Artemis warned. She stuck out her tongue. Artemis sighed.

"Sheldon! You actually made a friend. What's his IQ?"

"231," Artemis answered.

Sheldon and the other man stared at him, their mouths forming Os.

"I know. It's been dropping." He said.

"Whaaa…?"

"Sarcasm."

"Oh."

"You are?" he asked pointing to the man.

"Leonard."

"Nice to meet you," he said holding out a hand. Leonard shook his hand.

He extended an arm towards Sheldon who backed away nervously. "Did I break him?" he asked.

Leonard shook his head. "Germ phobia."

Artemis nodded. "I've been working on a cure for all phobias," he said.

Leonard turned to Holly. "Are you a hobbit?" he and Sheldon laughed.

"Why I ought to…"

"Holly. No killing today. We're on vacation."

"I'll have you know I am NOT a hobbit. Call me that again and you'll pay."

"Sorry. You're Human like the rest of us."

"Yes I'm human. Defiantly."

"Why act so suspicious then?"

"I'm not an elf!"

"What?"

"What?" she echoed.

Artemis and Holly started speaking in Gnomish.

(Holly! Calm down. You're acting suspiciously.

Well I'm not used to being around other humans. Only you and your family.

Well, just try and calm down.)

"What are you saying?" Leonard asked.

"They seem to be speaking in some made up language," Sheldon said.

"Nope! Completely real," Holly said.

Penny walks in.

"Hello Leonard, Sheldon, guests."

"Hi," they all say in unison.

"Who are they?" Penny asked, pointing to Holly and Artemis.

"Sheldon's new friend and his friend," Leonard said somewhat helpfully.

"Oh my god. Sheldon made a friend!" she hugged him and he stiffened. Artemis pulled out a laptop and started writing.

He showed Sheldon and said, "As I was saying, a cure for germ phobia." Sheldon studied it.

"Lots of symbols I see," he said.

"Oops. Here." He clicked a few buttons then showed him, this time in English.

Raj and Howard walked in.

Holly leaned over and said, in Gnomish, "Hello!" very loudly.

Raj whispered something to Howard who said "Raj asks why there are two pretty girls instead of one." Raj whispered something else. "And what the smaller one said."

"She said hello. Why can't he talk himself?" Artemis asked.

"Girl-phobia."

Artemis took a syringe out of his bag labeled 'Girl', walked over and stuck it in Raj. He then walked back his seat as if nothing happened.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You're welcome."

"For what?" then he realized. "Ohhh."

"He can talk in front of me!" Penny exclaimed.

Holly leaned and said in Gnomish, "You're welcome. Now leave him alone so I can kiss him."

While the others didn't understand, Artemis smiled and put one arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

"Why is the 15-year old treating the little kid like his girlfriend?" Raj asked.

"I'll have you know I'm 87 years old," Holly snapped then quickly put a hand over her mouth. Artemis had his head in his hands and the others were laughing.

Holly hung her head which caused Artemis to shout in Gnomish "Your ears!" which caused her to snap her head up. Artemis pulled out his C-Cube and said, "Call Artemis Fowl Senior."

The Cube started ringing. "Hello?"

"Hello Father."

"Arty! Where are you?"

"In California"

"What? How?"

"I took the jet. I just wanted to let you know than I will be living here for some time to conduct research."

"Okay then." Then he hung up.

**Howard:** Watch this, it's really cool. (into phone) Call Leonard Hofstadter.

**Cell phone:** Did you say, call Helen Boxleitner?

**Howard:** (into phone) No. Call ... Leonard ... Hofstadter.

**Cell phone:** Did you say, call Temple Beth Sader?

**Howard:** (into phone) No!

**Leonard:** Here, l-le-let me try. (into phone) Call McFlono McFloonyloo.

(Leonard and Rajesh chuckle at his stunt.)

**Cell phone:** Calling Rajesh Koothrappali.

(Rajesh's cell phone rings and he looks at Howard, stunned.)

**Rajesh:** (checking his phone) Oh! That's very impressive. And a little racist.

**Sheldon:** If we're all through playing mock the flawed technology, can we get on with Halo night? (checking watch) We were supposed to start at eight. It is now eight-oh-six.

"That IS flawed," Artemis said. "Let me fix it."

Howard handed him the phone. He spoke into the phone. "Call Sheldon Cooper."

Phone: Calling Rajesh Koothrappali.

"What you have here is a very racist phone."

*PLAY THE BIG BANG THEORY THEME*

"What the hell was that?"

"Our theme song," Sheldon answered.

"Neat."

"Now it's Halo night."


End file.
